this week, i slipped into my running shoes, grabbed a friend with the fullest of hearts and away we went -- with the notion that as the seasons change, so can we.
this time last year, i was not the girl you now have dancing through your mind. there was no laughter singing in your ears or profound writing to fill your soul. the girl i was knows me better than anyone, yet such a stranger. i've been clawing away at my place in the world, dragging and cussing her from one temporary happiness to another ignorant bliss. tired from the weight of her, i often leave her behind in order to get to the next escape quicker. sooner or later, she finds me. pulling at me until the sweet distraction is no longer within my grasp.
down we go again.
turning 27 was supposed to be different than 26, but i found myself taming the same heartbreaking emotions, asking the same gut-wrenching questions. i'd broken free from her and wandered into a precious moment of contentment.
then, she found me.
only now, i'm considering that maybe i'm not so much pushing her away as she's willingly standing still, waiting patiently for me to realize that we should be in this together -- that i am her. she is where i write from, who i learn from, why i always end up stronger. she is what i have to offer when we stumble upon someone else's struggle.
she is me.
the summer isn't ending the way i had so badly wanted, but it was that girl that has caught me. it is her i want to change for, change with, run with and fall with.
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